Posts Tagged ‘Ramsay’
Chef Gordon Ramsay: Excerpts from the Great Pumpkin Letters
Chief Crazy Captain Christo is a character in a screen play life written in Minnesota to be
orchestrated on a stage in …… see if you can guess where. This is an actual exchange between
the main character Chief Crazy Captain Christo and the delightful wordsmith Chef Gordon Ramsay from Fox’s hit TV show Hell’s Kitchen. We join the exchange already in progress…
Over the loud lecturer ( Gilbert Godfried ) was heard…
” …and the winner is by a lard margarine Chief Crazy Captain Christo. “
Thunderous applause and a few sprinkles of lightning were heard and seen right through the
fantastic plates.” Never before has Chef Gordon Ramsay ever been this mad. He was seen kicking
the trash cans and littering the audience with shouts of “DONKEY” which made the judges of the
contest ( Sharon Osbourne and Ozzy, Rob Zombie and Sheri, Zakk Wylde and Barbarranne, Gene Simmons and Tweeder, and of course War and Buffet (the Vampire Slayer), eye Chef Gordon
Ramsay in a new light.
” this cant be possible…” Chef Ramsay shouted, ” All my dishes were fantastic yes, and brilliantly prepared. Every possible ingredient was used. They were arranged to be gorgeous to the eyes as well as a smorgasboard of pallette to the taste buds. What maybe could you Donkeys have been thinking when you judged Chief Crazy Captain Christo’s Sea Bass Filet Mignon and Oysters over Pumpkin Avocado Hoodwink Burgers” Chef Ramsay stormed off the set of the now infamous “Pacific Omaha, Omaha Pacific” challenge or PO-OP challenge.
The judges were unanimous in their admiration for Chief Crazy Captain Christo’s dish and were surprised to find out that his dish was really just made out of a carved pumpkin. In small, every last judge questioned Chief Crazy Captain Christo how the Hell he pulled off the Greatest upset in the land of Milk and Honey using only a Pumpkin. Here is C.C.C.Christo’s response:
….” to all the Excellent Judges who make it a point to sell their brand of entertainment to the world. My secret ingredient was ……”
All the judges, including Rob Zombie, leaned forward to hear the secret to C.C.C.Christo’s successful win over Chef Gordon Ramsay,
” My secret ingredient is and always has been you Jack Asses,
Art O’ Fisher Fillet Vo-Rings.”
It took a while for the hoots and the hoot owls to simmer down but when they finally did and they always do, Chief Crazy Captain Christo walked off the stage and gave each of the judges a freshly cut pumpkin rind in the affect of a G.
So as the Excellent Chief Crazy Captain Christo skateboarded back to his trailer in the park, he stopped to admire the sunsetting as plain as day and exhaled, ” Maybe next time I’ll answer the judges the proper way and say something like,
My secret ingredient has been to imitate Ol Chef GORDO, beat him to the punch line,
and exclaim My secret ingredient is and has always been the Jackal Lantern, the Jack O’ Lantern
and forevermore the Donkey ho-tay.
Stay tuned when Chief Crazy Captain Christo invites Chef Gordon Ramsay and family to a council meeting to take place sometime in the year 2010 to discuss plans to build Twelve new restaurants around a rock and roll , sports, medicine, movie and of course the Fantastic Pumpkin Letters menu will be delivered to Chef Ramsay if he shows up. In fact, if Chef Ramsay shows up the menu is blank so if he wants to keep the blankety blankety blank out of his dialogue for one hour, we can proceed to design the first seven star restaurant in the description of the Milky Way.